I am a self-employed former Psychotherapist. I have over 25 years of experience in helping women to overcome distress caused by Domestic Violence, PTSD, Mental Health concerns, Sexual Abuse and other issues. My previous role has provided me with an excellent foundation for understanding emotional pain and hurt. Sometimes emotional distress is the result of the actions of others. Other times, it is the result of regret, grief, or loss, or an underlying mental health concern such as depression or anxiety. Regardless of what is causing our emotional distress it can significantly affect many different areas of our life.
Although I have moved away from practising psychotherapy, my passion for empowering women continues.
I now work with women to help them get unstuck. My service, Thera-Coaching, is a unique combination of tools from psychotherapy and life coaching. The psychotherapy tools focus on “Why” certain behavioural patterns occur and the life coaching tools focus on “How” a client can be helped to achieve the results she desires.
2019 – 2021 I added to my Psychotherapy qualification:
- Certificate in Adolescent Psychological Development
- Certificate in Life Coaching
- Type Pro Certification
In addition, I am part of a coaching programme with the Life Coach School.
Self-coaching model
I use the Life Coach School model to help clients gain new insights, to problem solve, and to achieve the results they want in their life. Self-coaching models have always existed. US life coach Brooke Castillo, the founder of the Life Coach School, has pulled together learnings from self-help books and the teachings of Byron Katie and Eckhart Tolle to create a model that allows us to rethink and rebuild our thoughts.
Although she didn’t invent the theory, she has found a way to apply it to our everyday life. Her self-coaching model is a powerful technique that can be used to solve any problem we face in our life. It’s brilliant, and I use it every day in my life to create the results I want, despite whatever is happening around me (Circumstances).
When you don’t achieve the results you want in your life, you may blame your external circumstances. This is the wrong mindset to get stuck in, because if you believe that your circumstances make you feel sad, mad, worthless, unhappy, etc, then you will always be trying to control past events, control other people’s actions and control the future.
The theory behind the Life Coach School model is that finding happiness has nothing to do with what you are doing or where you are, and everything to do with what you are thinking and feeling.
The model teaches that:
Circumstances are neutral. - FACTS - and everyone must agree on them being facts - Your own past - Other people’s actions
Thoughts are the sentences in your heads. They are subjective and they attach descriptive words or opinions to neutral circumstances. Your thoughts are always optional. Experiences, situations, and circumstances trigger thoughts. Research suggests that humans have around 6,200 thoughts per day, so it’s no wonder we can’t control what we think about every second of the day. Given the same circumstances, different people may have different thoughts. In the words of Brooke Castillo in her Self-Coaching Model guide, Nothing that happens in your life is amazing or horrible until you decide to have a thought about it to make it that way. Everything is a circumstance until you put a thought to it”. The key is to supervise and train your brain to generate productive thoughts. If you keep repeating the mistakes you made in your past, then your future will be no different.
Feelings are the vibrations in your body and are a product of your thoughts. They are not your thoughts. Distinguishing between thoughts and feelings and training yourself to detect the difference are critical to feeling better. Understanding that your thoughts cause your feelings is how you learn to feel better without changing your circumstances.
Actions are a product of your feelings. Your actions, inactions, and reactions will be based on the feelings that caused them. For example, when you feel motivated, excited or energised you take action; when you feel depressed, sad, or unmotivated you are lethargic (inactive); and when you feel angry you react.
Results are the consequences or outcomes of your actions, inactions, or reactions. It’s very common for people to look for quick fixes and to focus solely on changing their actions. But until you acknowledge and change the feelings and thoughts behind those actions, it will be difficult to see real change.
Summary
CIRCUMSTANCES
can trigger
THOUGHTS
cause
FEELINGS
cause
ACTIONS
cause
RESULTS
By changing your thoughts, you can change your results.
Call today for a free 30 minute chat.
Kanchana Hoy
Thera-Coaching
Kanchana@KanchanaHoy.com
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